Attack of the Mush: Reslilience

A friend asked me, “After 3 years of waiting and then getting your heart broken, how close are you on being jaded?” I simply replied, “I am and forever will be a hopeless-romantic.” I don’t know why I replied with such pessimism but I knew it was the truth. I just need time to heal but I know in time I will be able to bounce back better than before.

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I recently confirmed my long standing suspicion that ze ex has been seeing someone else right after we broke up. Actually, a few days after we parted ways, he has been meeting up with an old “friend.” He had always denied that there was anything going on between them but yesterday everything was clarified. He is now in a relationship with this guy. More than anything else, the seeming betrayal was the most painful. Yes, I do still feel something for him or at least I did. Now, it’s pure hate and disgust on the stupidity that I allowed myself to be the victim of a love that started with nothing but lies. He always lied to me, even then. He was a master of this art. And I, intelligent guy that I am, was played. Goes to prove that the smarter you are, the more stupid you become when you fall in love. I shall not go into the details since I am still trying my able best to actually be the nice person here. I could have done so many things to hurt him back but thankfully, I was brought up by my parents to be kind and understanding even if it’s hard to. I just figured that if I did plot my revenge a lot of people will be affected by it and I cannot bare that on my conscience. And so, I am doing the next best thing… to let go and detach myself from him. Difficult, yes but if I don’t I’ll never be able to open my heart and mind to the possibility that not all men are bastards. Some of them are just born cruel.

I shall keep waiting, dreaming, hoping and dreaming that someone out there is the right person for me. Someone I can share whatever life I have with. Someone out there who will try and avoid breaking my heart into a million pieces and then breaking them again into little more manageable pieces. I was perfectly content 3 years ago before he came and now I am in the slow agonizing process of healing once again. Still, I know I can do this. The heart, after all, is resilient.

And just to prove how resilient it is, I’m up for coffee, a nice dinner and a movie for anyone willing to have a good time with a person desperately trying to move on. Or we can go straight to bed, that might be a good way to speed things up. (Kidding!)

Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo